


PurGAYtory

by brunetteandblond



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Background Relationships, Character Development, Character Study, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Personal Growth, Sad and Happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brunetteandblond/pseuds/brunetteandblond
Summary: The main characters of Wynonna Earp are all in the LGBTQ+ spectrum.Each chapter is for one character and how they realize their identity, how they come to terms with it, and how they come out. These are their stories. I hope you can relate to them. I know I do.





	PurGAYtory

Nicole never really fit in as a child. It wasn’t like she was hated, bullied, or ostracized by the kids her age. She just couldn’t relate to any of them. It was as simple as that. Which only made it hurt more. 

She wouldn’t necessarily consider herself a loner. She had friends, she just wasn’t very close with any of them. It was as if she held up an invisible barrier between herself and everyone she met. It wasn’t purposeful. In fact, she hated her walls. She’d tear them all down if she could. The only problem was  _ she couldn’t.  _

The redhead fifteen-year-old couldn’t think of the exact moment she decided that if she let someone in they wouldn’t accept her. Immediately, she thought of her parents and their cold shoulders and never-ending looks of utter disappointment. But she quickly shook away that thought. Her parents weren’t bad people. They were just…  _ intense. _ But Nicole understood that some parents were a lot worse. So she didn’t complain.

Her thoughts then traveled to Amelia. Her best friend from ages four to thirteen. Amelia was everything Nicole wasn’t. Reckless, spontaneous, and incredibly courageous. Her parents disapproved of her, which made the redhead like her more. 

Amelia got Nicole out of her shell. Nicole felt free with her best friend. Like she wasn’t alone in such a scary world. 

They did everything together. But as much as they hung out, Nicole always wanted more. More time, more conversations, more laughs, more Amelia. The redhead knew her feelings for her friend weren’t natural. She was able to stuff those thoughts away, though. Deep into parts of her brain that she kept hidden. 

When she was allowed to have Amelia sleepover, she’d spend the nights awake in her own bed. She’d think about wrapping her arms around the blonde and pressing her lips on hers. She thought it was natural to have those feelings. At least, she didn’t think it was necessarily wrong. 

Besides, it wasn’t like she thought she was gay. She thought she’d know the difference. 

Sure, she didn’t like boys like the rest of her friends did. Sure, she got these fuzzy feeling when Amelia grabbed her hand. And sure, she really,  _ really,  _ liked certain female characters in TV shows. But she knew she wasn’t gay. She told herself that she  _ couldn’t  _ be. 

Her parents were traditional and slightly conservative. They taught Nicole how to be a good girl. And for years, the redhead did everything she could to fit that role perfectly. 

One day, she heard a bunch of eighth graders talk about kissing each other in the bathroom one day. They said that they were practicing for when they would get boyfriends. Nicole got excited, thinking that it was the kind of thing Amelia would be into since the blonde was suddenly really into this guy from their science class. And it was definitely spontaneous. 

Amelia was on Nicole’s bed, ranting about the last two seasons of  _ Buffy the Vampire Slayer. _ She was rambling, her mouth moving at a speed Nicole could barely comprehend. 

“What are you looking at?” Amelia asked, raising an eyebrow at her friend who was staring intensely at her lips. 

Nicole didn’t say anything. She only moved closer and leaned into a wet kiss with her best friend who was not suspecting the action. 

Amelia quickly pushed the redhead away and hissed, “What the hell, Nic?”

Nicole blushed and sunk into her own abyss inside her head. She tried to think of an excuse. A B.S. answer that her friend could possibly believe. 

“It was a joke,” The redhead told her friend quietly, still ashamed and slightly heartbroken (though, she wouldn’t admit that at the time). “Wanted to get your attention, I guess.”

The blonde was no idiot. She knew her best friend better than anyone. “How about some honesty here, Haught?” 

Nicole opened her mouth but didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to be honest. Hell, she wasn’t even honest with herself at the time. 

“I dunno,” The redhead replied with a shrug. “Wasn’t thinking, I guess.” 

“You’re lying,” Amelia said sternly, getting up immediately. “You don’t lie, Nicole. That’s why I love you. You never lied to me. Until now.”

Their friendship would never recover. Loneliness surrounded Nicole like a cloud of sadness that hovered around her. She tried to make up for what she did. She tried to recover by focusing on becoming the dutiful daughter her parents always wanted. As if somehow following every rule would make up for what she had done. 

So, she focused on school. And sports. And marching band. And anything to get her mind off of the bottomless reminders that she was different. 

But two years had passed. And things weren’t better. With everything that she had to do and the facade that she had to maintain, stress overwhelmed her. With everything she was doing, she forgot to eat. To sleep. To breath. Her life wrapped around her anxiety. And all she could focus on was wanting to be normal. She thought she deserved normal. 

But then the perfect mask she created for herself cracked. 

Her feelings erupted. 

And everything she had kept in for so long blew open. 

She felt like a volcano, spewing all the hot lava that she had tried to keep inside. 

Truths emerged. 

And all she could think were these three words: 

“I. Am. Gay.” 

She said to herself every day in the mirror. A mantra that tethered her to reality. She feared her sexuality, but she started to understand it. She started to respect it. 

She hid her identity but didn’t bury it. No, it was apart of her. It wasn’t something that she could keep from everyone forever. 

In her greatest ‘fuck it’ moment, she spewed the truth to her friends. 

And her parents. 

“You’re too young to understand what ‘gay’ means, Nicole,” Her mother told her with tears in her eyes and disappointment in her throat. 

“It’s just a phase,” Her father muttered with apathy, believing that one day her daughter would just ‘snap out of it.’ 

“Is it cool now? To be gay?” 

“This is because of all of that television you watch.”

“You read too many books.”

“You just haven’t been with a man yet.”

“That Amelia girl, did she tell you to be this way?” 

“The Lord will forgive you, Nicole.” 

The conversation ended with the teenager realizing that her parents didn’t love her unconditionally. It was a heartbreaking truth, but Nicole was glad she learned it before she thought that her parents would accept her, no matter what. 

Her friends were a mixed bag. Some refused to speak with her (those were her friends from church), some chose to ignore what she said and pretended like it didn’t happen, and a few surprised her with support. Those friends were her only memorable ones through high school. 

College was better. Not only could she explore her passion in Criminology, but she also met people in her classes that truly understood her. 

She met Raina in her Junior year. Their relationship was formed utterly out of convenience. There weren’t too many openly gay students at her school. And Raina was definitely beautiful and smart. On paper, it seemed perfect. Except, Nicole wasn’t too invested in her studies to really pay attention to the girl. 

When Nicole introduced her girlfriend to her parents, the two finally realized that Nicole wasn’t going to ‘stop being gay.’ They grudgingly decided to stop chastising her and decided to ignore it. 

Their breakup at the end of their senior year was sad, but not surprising. 

She kept her sexuality from the people at the academy. The last thing she wanted to do was give anyone a chance to dislike her. She hated being silent about it, but she found it to be necessary. 

Shae was unexpected. Nicole had never been more attracted to someone before she met Shae. There was a level of lust and desire that couldn’t compare to anyone else she had ever known. Their romance accelerated so quickly, the redhead couldn’t pinpoint the moment they decided to get married. But once the honeymoon phase ended, everything fizzled. 

She didn’t even tell her parents about her marriage that only lasted a few months. Honestly, there was nothing to tell. 

When Purgatory came calling, Nicole came running. She immediately realized that this town was different. 

Suspiciously different. 

With killings and mutilations and unbelievable stories. 

And. No. One. Gave. A. Damn. 

Well, not  _ no one.  _

Meeting Waverly Earp was like breathing fresh air. Nicole had heard about the beloved Earp daughter and her twisted and absent sister, but she had trouble believing that the younger sister was the angel that she was made out to be. Nicole was wrong. 

Waverly’s kindness was infinite and so was her fierceness. Falling for the girl that worked at Shorty’s was inevitable. She thought her chances with the girl that needed help with her shirt were minuscule. But somewhere along the way, something blossomed. And for a reason Nicole couldn’t comprehend, Waverly wanted her back. 


End file.
